Hello, inquisitive guest, and welcome to a slice of one of my past lifetimes.
If you're reading this, it means that after thousands of hours, I have finally finished the last leg of this story. I call it a story because if I simply called it my life, it would be judged as one, and critics would twist my character like a lawyer who got OJ off.
And in Wright Before Jail, no one gets off.
This journey you're about to finish, starts in a time before finding myself in a jail cell with no hopes.
I did not apply myself in school when I was younger. Instead, I skipped class and read lots of books. While locked up in Salt Lake County Jail, I spent about eight hours a day/night reading books that came from their massive library collection. Reading so many imagination invoking stories was the sole reason I felt jusssssst confident enough to write one myself. I also struggle with my slight dyslexia, especially in spelling and sentence structure. However, with time and effort, I've been able to transform my errors into double meanings and clever wordplay.
So, the story starts with The Book of Knight, which is basically a mirror of the prologue, but written in the style of the Book of Mormon. It’s meant to be a dedication to my late father and his deeply held LDS religious beliefs.
{“Religious beliefs that shaped both of their entire lives.”}
Cillian, this isn't the place for me to explain my crime or my father's intentions.
{“No. This is absolutely the time. Just tell them the truth and be quick about it.”}
Gah! Cillian, I disagree, it’s-
{“Shhhhh, hush Shane. Quiet yourself. I’ll handle this for you.”}
{“The rapid-fire facts of the matter: In 2002 Shane’s parents divorced due to his mother being brave and standing up for her beliefs, and ultimately leaving the Mormon church.
{“In 2004 Shane’s own religious questions could not be satiated by church doctrine, leading to multiple discussions with church leaders about leaving the church himself at the age of fourteen. Thus started countless hours of debate about spiritual matters with his father.”}
{“Throughout the years of adulthood, Shane had a very close relationship with Bryan and visited him at work frequently. Bryan worked in an executive position within the business side of the LDS church. Work was his passion in life above all else, and it was not uncommon for Bryan to go to work before 5 AM and not get home until 7 or 8 PM, usually running on about 3 or 4 hours of sleep each night.”}
{“Fast forward to 2015. Shane had spent the entire day talking with his father about spirituality and listened to his him describe his many symptoms of depression and suicidal ideologies. In the morning time, Bryan Wright came to Shane with a request that he help him on a mission to return to his heavenly father. To die. He wanted assistance with ending his life.”}
{“After hearing such things, Shane put Bryan Wright into his care and after Bryan was finished writing letters to his closest friends and church leaders, Shane drove him to the University of Utah mental health psych ward. On the freeway, Bryan opened the car door multiple times and joked about jumping out.”}
{“Once Bryan had his vitals checked and was processed in, Shane was allowed in a hospital room where Bryan waited on a hospital bed for the nurse. Before anyone was able to even go over basic information, Bryan went through a strong panic attack.”}
{“After he calmed down, his personality switched, and he became reflective, talking very peacefully. Shane, wanting to show his family and others the severity of Bryans condition, recorded a video and took pictures of his father without his permission or knowledge.”}
{“Bryan Wright was indeed deemed a threat to himself, so he endured the maximum holding time by UNI at three weeks. (Court documents state the following: The professionals at UNI decided to hospitalize Bryan because they deemed that he had an “inability to maintain safety in a less restrictive setting.” Bryan was repeatedly telling the staff at UNI that “suicide would be such a relief.” Bryan described his emotional pain to doctors as “intense” and that it feels the same as if “someone would fall from a distance and impinge themselves on a sharp object.” Bryan was housed in the “locked impatient unit.” Three days into Bryan’s three week stay, Shane left Utah and moved to Oregon with immense guilt and sorrow.”}
{“For a little while Bryan took his meds, followed the directions of people who cared about him, and seemed to be making a strong recovery. However, after a bit more time, he started to show the cracks that came from him acting and pretending things were okay, when in all reality, he was still falling apart at the seams.”}
{“Provided next are some court documented statements from his therapist from that year. (she lawyered up and released such statements after feeling compelled to share details that may shed light on Shane’s crime while an investigation was going on.
{“Below is a slice of legal documentation provided to the judge before declaring sentencing to Shane Wright.”}
On September 2, 2015, Bryan began counseling sessions with Ms. ____. Bryan saw Ms. ___ at least once a month until the time of his death. (See CCE records). The following are some of the documented statements he made to Ms. ___ about his struggles:
· 9/21/15 – Bryan reported having suicidal thoughts and was thinking about “what it might be like to do it.” However, he didn’t follow through on anything because suicide represents a “lack of faith and hope in God and His plan for him.”
· 11/16/15 – Bryan reported that he “felt his life had no joy right now because he is lonely.”
· 12/14/15 – Bryan reported not feeling excitement or joy anymore; he feels numb and doesn’t care about things.
· 1/23/16 Bryan stated that “he was not sure he wants to get better because he does want to die sometimes.”
· 2/27/16 – Bryan went off all medication and he stated that “coming off the meds caused him to think of seriously killing himself again.”
· 3/5/16 – Bryan said he was feeling numb and trapped because he was feeling self-pity and loathing that he could not get over.
· 3/19/16 – Bryan recognized that “suicidal thoughts bring him no peace but he entertains them [anyway.]”
· 4/23/16 – Bryan reported having suicidal thoughts, stating, “I just wanted to end the pain but not kill myself.”
· 4/30/16 – Ms. ___ asked Bryan to sign a written contract committing him to not take any steps to end his life. Bryan signed a “No-harm contract.”
· 6/18/16 – Bryan still wasn’t taking his medication. He stated, “I’ve been depressed my whole life. “I’m just trying to find relief.”
· 9/21/16 – Bryan stated that he felt depressed and that he just doesn’t care about things.
· 9/28/16 – Bryan reported that he was “in a lot of emotional pain on Saturday and had an awful sense of nothingness.” He stated that he “tried to think of suicide as a way of consoling himself.” He also expressed a fear that God won’t answer our prayers and “then we will have nothing left if God didn’t answer prayers.”
Once again, Bryan asked Shane to help him commit suicide.
About two weeks before Bryans death—on September 18, 2016 he had dinner with ___ and her husband. He also paid a visit to his friend’s ______. While having dinner with ____ he broke down while sharing his feelings of desperation and darkness and his suicidal ideations—he sobbed for hours. After leaving ___ house, he went to visit ___. While there, he was sobbing and distraught, and confided that he had thoughts of suicide, and asked for a blessing. Previous to these visits, Bryan had confided in another friend ____ that he had suicidal thoughts and had put a rope around his neck while contemplating committing suicide. Bryan confided similar thoughts and feelings to another friend and neighbor _____.
When Shane admitted his father to Uni, he felt overwhelmed by the gravity of his fathers situation and moved to Oregon a few days later. (Transport p. 7). They remained in close contact, talking on the phone frequently. Shane noticed that his father’s condition gradually began to deteriorate. On the day of the incident, Shane received a call in Oregon from his father who sounded panicked, desperate, and suicidal. (Interview, p. 3)
Concerned, Shane immediately got into his car and drove straight through the day for 16 hours until he arrived at Bryan’s house around midnight. They talked all through the early morning…. End of page.
Bryan’s religious beliefs conflicted with his desire to end his life. Bryan’s belief in the LDS church doctrine included him believing there are the three kingdoms of glory: the celestial kingdom, the terrestrial kingdom, and the telestial kingdom. ( LDS.org – Kingdoms of Glory_. The goal of all members of the church is to inherit the celestial kingdom.