Clack Clack
We’re back.
Gone is her mischievous smile, only to be replaced by her usual stern expression.
I step into character as well, like nothing has changed. “CO, will you pop the T.V. room, please?”
I walk in to six eyes greeting me with heavy anticipation. I have to keep myself together by pretending to act like I’m someone else.
“Good evening, gentlemen.”
Scrappy grins and grabs the back of the one empty chair. “Have a seat, sir. Have a seat.” He waits for me to sit before continuing. “You got a lil’ sumthin-sumthin for us?”
I glance over my shoulder. Officer Parker’s facing her computer screen. I dig into my sock, grab the package, and pass it discreetly to Scrappy.
“You’re my boy, Blue!” Tad says.
Scrappy tucks it in his own sock before getting up. “T, let’s go split this up in the cell. You good with that, Jimbo?”
“Oh, sure, sure. I trust you guys.”
Tad and Scrappy return a couple minutes later. Scrappy checks behind him, pulls out the package, and passes it to Old Man Jimbo. “Split exactly half and half. And since you helped make this happen, Killa, Tad and I each put one of our squares in there for you. Sell ‘em or snort ‘em, either way, they’re yours.”
I thank them each with a fist bump.
We spend the next half hour recounting details of the operation every time a commercial comes on.
Tad seems to have the worst drug problem of the three, and keeps mentioning how badly he needs commissary to come and bring him his pickle.
When our show ends, Old Man Jimbo clears his throat.
“I would just like to say that I had faith this whole time, so guys, Christmas came early this year.”
“What do you mean, Jimbo?”
“I mean Christmas came early, as in, it came around sooner than expected.”
Scrappy shakes his head. “No, like, what’s for Christmas that came early?”
“Oh, I see what you’re asking. Commissary coming early is the Christmas.”
Scrappy sighs. “Jimbo Slice, you gotta help us out here. What are you talking about?”
“I mean that I know how to get us out of our pickle…with a pickle!”
I jump in. “So you’re saying you already ordered a pickle on commissary, and we don’t have to wait four more days?”
“Exactly! How was that not clear?”
All three of us let out exaggerated “ohhs.”
As if our time’s been wasted, Tad asks, “Why did you wait this long to tell us!? We could’ve been blasting off already!”
“Because we were talking, duh!”
“Old Man Jimbo, you make my brain hurt,” Scrappy says.
“Well, I’m doing mine in my cell, where I can enjoy the high on my bunk. I’m not coming in here all jacked up.”
Tad cracks a joke about what Old Man Jimbo might say to a guard while high as balls, then we decide it’s time to head to our cells for blast off.
Officer Parker pops our doors and gives Scrappy permission to trade Old Man Jimbo a noodle for half his pickle. While they’re making the trade, Parker and I lock eyes.
I catch a sort of confidence in her expression, like a Queen capturing my Knight and putting me in checkmate at the same time.
Old Man Jimbo steps into our cell and closes the door behind him, then we start discreetly getting the drug setup ready. Jimbo separates my two squares, then adds one more as a gift from him for “putting in work”. He pours a little bit of the vinegar juice into each cap, followed by one white square each.
“Each one of these squares goes for $25, just so you know.”
“Holy shit! Maybe I only need half of one to start?”
Jimbo shakes his head. “No, you need this much to really launch. Trust me, it’s way better.”
I didn’t even know if I wanted to do any yet. I thought I had a few more days to decide.
But here I am, and after everything that’s fucking happened today, I’m ready for this trip.
“And I’ll just be able to relax up on my bunk like you?”
“Everyone reacts differently to different drugs, but I think you will. Okay, here we go.” He holds up his toothpaste cap to cheers mine. We dink them together before sticking them in one nostril to snort.
The burn! It burns! Ahhhhhh, it’s like acid got thrown on my brain! Looking at Jimbo’s face, it seems like he’s going through the same thing!
“Phew! Okay! I’m going to lay down now!”
"Me too!"
I climb up on my bunk!
Now I’m laying on my bunk!
Now I’m staring at the ceiling!
Now I can see things moving on it!
No wait, those are my eyes moving!
I feel amazing!
No wait, I feel like I need to try and touch the ceiling to see if that spot is moving or not!
It’s not!
This is amazing!
All of a sudden, I see words bounce around the cell and towards my watching ears!
What a silly thought!
Ears watching!
Eye am the all-seeing-ear!
“Close your eyes and you’ll see some really cool shit!”
I know those sounds belong to Old Man Jimbo!
Someone I trust!
I obey!
I Close my eyes and my world goes dark!
I can feel EVERYTHING!
I obey! I obey! I obey! For some reason those words keep echoing in my mind!
I see the words ‘I obey’ form like white clouds against the black of my eyelids!
On and on and on the echoes continue!
Out of nowhere, they stop!
The words switch to ‘I don’t obey’!
The white smoke turns to black smoke!
They switch back to ‘I obey’!
Forth and back, white and black!
The words stop forming and are replaced by a shiny wooden roulette table!
The typical red, replaced by white!
Black and white spaces spinning round and round with a little white square circling instead of a ball!
I still hear the echoing phrases! “I obey!” “I don’t obey!”
Round and round the square goes!
I know if it lands in white, I will obey forever!
If it lands in black, I will never obey again!
It’s all or nothing!
The sands of time are endless as the wheel spins without cease!
No other thoughts occupy my brain until suddenly; my father’s face appears!
Behind him, I see the wheel stutter slightly!
My father’s face turns into the chaplains, then Officer Parkers brother, then Officer Parker herself!
The faces start appearing and disappearing more rapidly, morphing into all the faces I’ve seen since coming to jail!
Old Man Jimbo, Tad, Scrappy, Q, Judge Shwannahsee, Brad & Melissa, the celly I had for a day but can't remember his name!
Kevin, C-Money, Anthony, Darrell, Vaughn, Wess, Dan, Straggle Tooth, Los, Bones, JJ, the various coppers, and all the inmates that have come and gone from the section!
The girl I once loved!
My once best friend John!
My brothers, my sisters!
My mom, my step dad!
My father again!
Finally, the faces stop on one!
The face of a man lying in the street!
The face of the man who died because of my actions!
His mouth starts to move!
His voice tells me one thing!
{“You always have a choice.”}
Right on the last syllable, the man’s eyes open, and the wheel spinning behind him stops. The little white square starts tumbling down off the edge, bouncing from black to white to black to white while his eyes watch it dart around.
As the square slows down, it almost stops in a white space before getting one extra bounce, landing flush over the number O and into the only green spot on the board.
The face behind my eyelids stops watching, then starts laughing maniacally.
{“What did I tell you, Fool? You always have a choice!”}
End of part one from,
A Man Cut Into Slices